003. like a cat

[hanabee]

[Rinne had mentioned once that Takasugi was prone to falling asleep on the couch, and ever since, Niki's made it a point to take a peek into the living room every time he passes by. There isn't always an opportunity to stop, of course—if he's on his way out to work, or in the middle of cleaning, he usually wouldn't bother him, letting him rest while he goes about his business. He certainly doesn't have a problem with him being there. It's just... there's something that's been on his mind for a while...

"Shinsaku looks like a cat," Rinne had explained to him. "But he's more like a dog, you know? So when you see him chillin', don't be shy."

Today, Niki's just come back from his shift, so right now, he has time. That means when he catches sight of Takasugi seemingly asleep on the couch, Niki quietly sneaks over to get a closer look.]

Comments

[takasugi]

( not the mixed signals from different people... )

And I appreciate the time it really helped. ... Well. The other time was beneficial in a different way, but—

( that time at practice had been unusually sensual, and he hasn't forgotten it. takasugi's claws dig into the fabric. )

That's exactly what I'm saying. That you like me, but you don't have the spark that makes your heart want to collapse in on itself whenever you see me.

( ... not that he's sure rinne feels that way either, despite everything they've done and the reassurances. but he doesn't want to think about that right now. )

Trust me. I get how easy it is to hook up with someone for fun and a good time, but eventually, gradually, feelings can start to blossom. I was already lectured fairly quickly on this before, where my experiences vary wildly from the both of you. But aren't you already sacrificing enough in just letting me be around, not to mention what the two of us touching each other would mean without the third party involved? You could just laugh and tell me it's a fruitless endeavor to be pining after a married man all the time. You could laugh at me, too, for being so rigid when I used to have the loosest lips of all. I'm grateful that you care so much, but I...

( where is he going with this, exactly? niki's so casual about it that it almost throws him off. isn't takasugi the one who does what he wants, when he wants regardless? only now, it feels like he might choke. he does care. he cares too much, maybe. so why does he have to feel stupid for being so... )

But I already took my heart out and gave it away, so I want you to at least understand that I'll never come to look at you like a lover... even if I do start to get comfortable. This is my way of looking after your own happiness, Shiina-kun.

1/2

[hanabee]

My own happiness, huh?

[Niki hums thoughtfully.]

Would it be easier if I was in love with you?

[A rhetorical question. He's pretty sure that's not the case, but he's finding it difficult to understand what he does want.

...well, no, that's not entirely true. He does know what he wants, but it's something he can't give him. Niki has his own promises to keep, too, after all.]

[hanabee]

[After a moment, though, Niki brightens up in potential understanding.]

Oh, wait, I think I get it. You're worried I might fall in love with you, but you can't love me like that even if I do. Is that it?

[takasugi]

( a beat, and then, with another energetic pat on niki's back: )

We're making some serious headway here, Shiina-kun. That's exactly what I mean.

( not to distract from the first assertion niki made so casually, but. )

[hanabee]

I guess that makes sense. When you look like that, you probably do have to worry about that stuff.

[He had warned Rinne about it back when they were younger. He always had people bugging him for something or other on the street, despite the fact that he was probably the person there who knew the least. Pretty people problems! Niki could not relate.]

Honestly, I never even thought about it. He never said I couldn't, though. And I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind if I did, either.

[Rinne had said some embarrassing things about that, actually. "I bet you could take better care of Takasugi-san," he had said. "You were always good at that." Niki didn't agree with that, but as long as Rinne wasn't forgotten or left behind, then whatever he did was probably fine. It was easy enough to keep in mind, anyway, because that's how Niki felt, too.]

But I don't think you have to worry about that. I get that you can't help how you feel, and I wouldn't ask you to change that, either. As long as you don't hate me, I don't really have any complaints~♪.

[The bar is so low! Or, rather, that's not what he was looking for here in the first place.]

[takasugi]

No, no. I'm pretty sure he would. Aren't you the most important person in his life?

( next to hiiro-kun, that is. the two he's aware of that stand above him in a hierarchy that's a little more than unspoken.

because for takasugi, a true indiscriminate love doesn’t really exist, even if he's committed himself to being an idol. that might be why he struggles to maintain the act around his fans. as niki continues to prattle on about how he should feel, the weight in his chest starts to get heavier, and...

he knows that niki is just trying to be reassuring. he should take their efforts more seriously, or at least try to. anyone reasonable would see that he's the one being difficult, especially since he’s never been the type to ask for permission before chasing after someone. )

But I don't hate you. I don't know how you got that idea in your head, but you might as well remove it entirely. After all, aren't we...

( his gaze flits away, embarrassed. )

Bound together by fate now? Including a few other things. As long as you get my perspective, I can likely accommodate some of your needs... later... when the time is right.

( a bump into niki's shoulder, takasugi leaning in to let the connection spill a warmth that's more frank. )

[hanabee]

[Niki's smile grows a little wider when Takasugi looks away, and even more when he touches their shoulders together. Cute, cute, cute! He's so adorable when he gets all shy like that.]

Hmm, I dunno. Sometimes, it just feels like he thinks he owes me...

[When Takasugi had first become a part of their lives, Niki had tried hard not to think about it. He couldn't—he had to have faith in Rinne, for the sake of both of them. That thought's always at the back of his mind, though... And while he'd rather have a debt than nothing at all, he still worried that...

Wait. He shakes his head.]

Oh, but it's not an unhappy relationship or anything like that. [He doesn't want to give him the wrong idea.] The thing about that guy is just that he wants to make everyone happy.

[That's probably the best way to put it... Because he could never tell him how Rinne cried when Niki explained why he spent time with Takasugi that night all those months ago now, a certain weight lifting off his shoulders. The guilt Rinne felt trying to love and care for two people when he'd already promised himself to only one... The relief he surely felt when Niki reassured him that he felt the same way.

Takasugi says he doesn't hate him as if there's no way he ever could, but certainly... Niki's sure he's thought plenty about how much easier his life would be if he had not also been brought here to this place with them.]

Well, I already told you this before, but me and him want the same thing, remember? So that's why I kissed you. And if it helped, I'd probably do it again.

But you know, I'm basically always hungry. [He's not talking about food.] You might not even be able to keep up with me! Nahaha. ♪

[takasugi]

Are you making it a challenge now just to instigate me into something?

( a hand presses against niki's mouth suddenly. takasugi leans in near enough to taste his scent, the smirk on his face playful as his own breath breaks hot over skin.

it's not a gesture that's meant to be harsh, his palm lightly tickling niki's face as a clawed finger rubs against the plush of his upper lip. it's simply meant to tease. he pushes gently, slowly, his fingertip tucking to part lips and loosen his mouth as they seek the wet warmth of his spit. rinne once told him he was even worse than niki for faking his smiles just to get kisses, and though he can't see his own expression from this angle, the smile on his face is probably more of the same. )

Don't underestimate me, Shiina-kun. No matter what's going on between the two of you, I'm more than sure that I could keep up and more.

( "the same thing" is making him happy, then? not romance. they're so casual about their want to do good by him that he isn't sure what to say about it right now, so he doesn't. after all, happiness for takasugi is entertainment, and far too many things he's said to the worry of their third party, surely. and if he asked niki if they could trade places for a day, if he could step into his skin and wear it for a moment, how would he react? he's already crossed too many lines. he isn't meant to make life harder for him than he already has.

so. not wanting to ruin their nice little chat with his insanity right now, takasugi pushes off the couch. he lands on his feet as his big bushy red tail sways out behind him. )

Speaking of hungry, though, we should have breakfast. You will feed me, right? That's one of the best parts of living here.

( that same fingertip goes pressed against takasugi's own lips, wetting it, the awkwardness shirking off as he taunts niki in turn. )

[hanabee]

[Niki's never been teased like this by anyone except Rinne, but he still allows Takasugi to do this without so much as a flinch. (Which is funny, really, given how he reacted to his touch earlier.) His eyelids flutter a little when Takasugi's finger goes deeper into his mouth than he expects, but his expression remains easy otherwise, his smile almost more amused than just casual.

All this time, Takasugi's made it a point to put distance between them, so this playful little gesture is an interesting change of pace. ...really, if Takasugi could just let himself have a little fun with him, he's sure that would ease the troubles in Rinne's heart a bit more, too.

It also doesn't surprise Niki when Takasugi breaks away, but he doesn't particularly mind it, either. He licks his lips, almost as if to clean up after Takasugi, before he nods.]

You're just trying to sweet-talk me, aren't you? But I guess that's okay. [It's totally working!] I would feed you whether you liked it or not, anyway.

[He doesn't expect his teasing to go anywhere after this, truthfully, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't fun to think about. Takasugi was far more experienced than they were, after all. With his "loosest lips," maybe he would be able to keep up with Niki's appetite.]

🎀

[takasugi]

I'm counting on it.

( it's interesting how much easier it is to talk openly about his feelings when they're alone lately. this kind of comradery is hard to find for most, and he had never been one so willing to let others see the full extent of his softness beyond the wild smile that would carry on a man's wishes and guide his clansmen to victory. they were stubborn and rough and even his closest companion wouldn't indulge him to a point when weakness was like to make even the calmest lose faith in your cause.

but as long as niki doesn't seem bothered by it, takasugi will take the lead. regardless of where butting into the middle of them will take them.

he gestures with his hand over his shoulder, waiting for niki to rise and tag along. )